General guidelines for helping:

* Believe survivors. Tell the survivor that you believe them and that you are here to help. Tell them that it was not their fault, over and over again.
* Ask survivors how you can help them today. Even if you have to say, “I don’t know what to do but I want to help”, voice your concern, ask what they need from you and then, listen to them.
* Offer options not advice. Help identify all of the options available and help survivors decide which is best for them. This should be done in a nonjudgmental way, which means acting as a sounding board and not telling them what to do. Survivors feel powerless and experience a general loss of control over their lives. Survivors begin to take back that control with each decision they make.
* Allow survivors to express a full range of feelings. Everyone reacts to rape in their own way. Some survivors express their emotions – they may talk, scream or cry. Some survivors keep their feelings inside – they may remain silent and isolate themselves. Remember, people cope with extraordinary circumstances to the best of their ability.
* Normalize survivors’ emotions. Survivors often feel that there is something wrong with them and that their reactions are abnormal. Try to explain that these feelings are normal and that they are not going crazy. You can help survivors feel less alone and out of control by listening to what they are feeling and normalizing their reactions to the trauma.
* Take care of yourself. You may be suffering from the affects of the assault as well. Remember, it takes a lot of energy to support a survivor through their recovery. You do not want to unload your feelings onto the survivor. It is important for you to find your own support systems and seek counseling which is free at the Rape Crisis Center.

 

Additional Topics
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What happens when I begin therapy?
If someone you know has been raped…
General guidelines for helping:
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