If someone you know has been raped…

You may feel pain, frustration, guilt, anger, confusion or a variety of other emotions. You may feel helpless in this situation, like you are “walking on eggshells” and you do not know how to deal with this situation. That is normal.

What is rape?
Rape is an act of violence and control, using sex as a weapon. It is not motivated by sexual desire, but by the desire to overpower and to dominate. The perpetrator, not the survivor, is responsible for the assault. No one “deserves” to be raped. Sexual assault is not about something that was “wrong” with the survivor – or anything they did, said, or wore. Sexual assault is about violence and domination.

The survivor may have any or all of the feelings listed below:

· Fear, Terror, Feeling Unsafe: The survivor may be afraid that the perpetrator will return again to attack her. Fear and terror may become generalized to other areas, or, to situations that remind the survivor of the assault.
· Self-blame, Shame: Feelings of shame and self-blame can make it difficult for the survivor to talk about the rape because of fear of being disbelieved, criticized or rejected.
· Anger, Rage: It is natural for someone who has been assaulted to feel angry. Survivors may direct rage towards others in their lives because directing rage towards the perpetrator may feel too threatening or too unrealistic.
· Loss, Grief: Survivors may grieve over a loss of innocence and feel that a part of them has been destroyed. Their idea of whom they can trust or where they are safe may be changed by the rape or abuse.
· They also might experience: Flashbacks, Nightmares, Loss of Control, Sadness, Anger, Suicidal Ideation, Feelings of Powerlessness, Isolation and Depression.

 

Additional Topics
How do I talk to my child about sexual abuse?
Tools for coping with panic symptoms…
Crime Victim’s Compensation
Marital Rape
What happens when I begin therapy?
If someone you know has been raped…
General guidelines for helping:
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